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Oh My!.... Me???
Let me tell you! Flying in a CF-18 fighter aircraft isn’t like walking up to any plane, climbing in, and taking off! Noooo…
First, I needed medical clearance to certify that I was fit to fly in a high performance aircraft, handle the G forces, and fit to handle a possible ejection from the aircraft!
Next, I need stuff! … My first layer has to be made of natural fibres (cotton, wool, silk). Why? Poly-anything will melt into my skin if I end up in a fire. They come, in order of donning: long underwear and long sleeved undershirt, socks, insulated boots, a flying suit, a G-suit (plugs into the aircraft’s oxygen system and inflates around my lower body during severe turns and pull-outs to force blood back into my brain to help prevent G-LOC (Loss of Consciousness)), a winter flying jacket (that thing was HOT – remind me to do this in the Summer if there’s ever a next time…), a harness that will attach me to the ejection seat/parachute system, a vest-of-many-pockets that contains a life vest and masses of survival equipment, should I need to eject, a skullcap that fits under my helmet, a helmet with a clear and a dark visor to which my oxygen mask attaches, and a double pair of gloves.
Then the learning starts! I have 3 specialists measuring me, teaching me how to dress, adjusting my G-suit (slip on, do up the 5 clips and 5 zippers, then 2 people lace me into my corset such that when I zip up for the flight, the G-Suit will be nice and tight on me). Then I put on the winter jacket which is to keep me warm in arctic winter conditions in the wilderness – HOLD ON HERE! It’s room temperature here! It’s bulky, I can’t see anything past my chest and sweating like a… Now, I’m presented with a tangle of webbing that is my harness. Straps everywhere! I am taught to make sense of them (yeah, right) and how to step in, squirm in up my legs and do a dance to get the shoulder straps in place, then I learn to lean over, find 2 long straps, do a pulling ducking chicken dance to tighten the straps and then slip the straps into a double buckle and pull tight (while bending). This will keep me nicely within my harness while I dangle from the parachute on the way down. (sense a theme here yet?). Straps to be rolled up and tucked away. Now for my survival vest. I am now officially a blimp! 2 clips into D rings, a snap buckle, a zipper, then various straps and snaps to attach my oxygen regulator to my chest. So far I’ve been here at least an hour!
Now to learn the survival kit and ejection seat! I’m shown the life raft that will fall away from my seat and inflate on the way down, the seat pack and vest contain pouches (on both sides of the vest) contain supplies to signal for help, first aid, signaling, food, water, tools, etc.
Got that? OK, now this is how you get in the seat: first, make sure the straps at your ankles on the G-Suit are properly set around your legs; climb in; locate the thigh straps, buckle and tighten around your thigh; bend down (remember? I can’t see a darned thing!) and locate the metal pin, insert into the ankle straps, push each rudder pedal to full deflection and pull on the strap to tighten (in case of ejection, this strap will pull my ankles into a safe position against the chair before I rocket out); turn around and locate the oxygen/communications connector and plug into the aircraft systems; settle back into the seat and (blindly) snap the lap belt into my harness and tighten; clip the shoulder harness into the shoulder buckles; put on skullcap; helmet; clip in the oxygen mask (2 clicks on each side); put on the gloves. Sweat.
Now I learn my Personal Safety Check: safety systems ( canopy safety pin, seat safety pin, seat safety switch); 2 ankle straps connected; 2 thigh straps connected; lap belt connected both sides; oxygen connected; shoulder straps connected; helmet chin strap; oxygen mask; both visors down.
Now how to egress the aircraft in a hecka hurry on the ground. I learn ManualOverride-2-2-O2: the Manual Override lever by my right thigh disconnects my legs from the seat; 2 disconnected lap buckles (lift the skirt (guard) and pull down the panties (release lever)); 2 disconnected shoulder straps (lift, pull down); O2 – disconnect the oxygen/comms tube. Climb out and run!
Eject! Eject! Eject! On the 3rd Eject, Pull with both hands the eject handle that’s between my thighs! The seat will pull my legs up tight to the seat and pull my shoulders back tight to the seat. The canopy will be blown off. Rockets will light under my seat and I will go for a ride! Check for drogue chutes. If no drogue chutes, look around. Am I at 50,000 feet? (I am now hanging from my harness in full gear from a “parachute” in a stairwell) Wait a while. Do I still need oxygen? No? get rid of the mask. Is the ground getting big? (around 10,000 feet) pull the manual release if I have to! (normally happens automatically at about 12,000 feet). Look for chute. Do I have a chute? Yay! Is the chute tangled? Reach up and grab the risers and pull outwards. I will spin around and the risers will disentangle. One riser’s cords tangled? Yank on that riser hard and release to disentangle. What’s my path against the ground? Am I going sideways? Good! That will help me fall Feet-Calves-Hip-OppositeShoulder. If not? Reach up and grab the handles stitched into my risers. Pull to the appropriate side to turn. Am I heading for power lines or something nasty? Pull on both handles to increase my rate of descent and miss the wires. Oh, there’s a dinghy below me but my seat survival pack is still attached to me. Reach down the right side, find the big ring, pull! And toss away. My seat pack detaches and dangles below. Now for the landing: open ground? Feet and legs tight together, hands up high into the risers. Into trees? Cross arms in front of me to protect from branches. We talk some more about escaping from a tree, getting help, etc. I’m equipped with a GPS personal locator beacon that will talk to a Search and Rescue satellite and tell it who I am and where, as well as broadcast a wail on the standard emergency frequencies.
I have to demonstrate proficiency in all of this stuff before I’m signed off by the Safety Systems supervisor.
This process is the Abbreviated For Civilians and Occasional Passengers. Pilots get much more detailed training. My seat check was a solid half day of work.
I am now Cleared to Fly!
